Episode Something or other: Simple Housecleaning

Just some stuff.

For one the text color is starting to annoy me. Too dark! So that may change. Or I may just flip a table and change the entire blog layout or something! *shrugs*

Um, so, yeah. I realized some more information about me, the writer of this stuff, would be relevant-ish.

So! I'm Spaz, as you may know. I've considered myself a Vocaloid fan for... two years or so? Something like that.


Biased Towards: KAITO (major fangirl here), KaiMei, Rin, Len, MEIKO, and Gumi. I like most musical genres, most of the stuff on my iPod is pop-ish, rock-ish, or electronic-ish. My favored producers are hinayukki, Hachi, Shinjou-P, wowaka, DECO*27, mothy, Jin, WonderfulOpportunity (Jesus-P), Manbo-Dead-Behind-The-House-P... not a complete list, but you know. Oh! I'm also partial to crossovers with other fandoms I like.


I Don't Really Like: Gakupo (my apologies), yaoi, yuri, gore, explicit lyrics, NSFW stuff... yeah. Not a complete list, but that's what I can think of.

Pet Peeves: Unsubbed songs, favoring fanmades over originals (as in, "akaito is so much better than kaito!!1!!1!!1one!". that makes me very sad.), 'also if i see another suggestive kailen picture under the kaito tag on tumblr i think i'm going to flip a table or something , the Vocaloid "fandumb"

Other Fandoms I Consider Myself in: (Anime/Manga:) Hetalia, Durarara!!, Baccano!, (Video Games:) Portal 1 and 2, Pokemon, HetaOni, (TV Show:) Doctor Who, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Legend of Korra, (Other:) Homestuck, Alice in Wonderland, Paranatural, et cetera. I... probably forgot one. Oh well.

So as you can see, there's weaknesses here. Like you know, I'm not going to be up on the latest news/song with Gakupo.



Also, it's time to cite my sources!

For the Featured Vocaloid stuff, I usually go to TVTropes' Character page for Vocaloid for some refreshers on facts I've forgotten. So there. The Vocaloid Wiki is helpful at times as well, along with Vocaloidism.


So! That's that as far as I can tell.

Happy Birthday, Gumi!

Today is Gumi's 3rd Anniversary of release, so, in fandom terms...

Today is her birthday! *throws confetti* Happy Birthday! Hopefully she'll get carrot cake and lots of love from everybody today!

She's had a great year too, giving Miku a run for her money in the rankings! Often they have close to the same number of songs on the Weekly Vocaloid Ranking, a few times even outmatching her! Megpoid also received Vocaloid 3 Extend voicebanks, also a update to her standard voicebank.

Also, she's confirmed to receive an English voicebank sometime in the future! Huzzah! It's in the planning stage now.

Oh, and KarenT (read: the reason Vocaloid songs are on iTunes) has announced a special release of songs for this event! *throws carrots* This includes songs like Life Reset Button, My Crush is a Monster Boy, and more! There are ten in total.

Let's wish Gumi a happy and successful year to come! And with that, I shall leave this and the pretty picture from tumblr up for the rest of the week. *falls over*

Episode Ten: Teach me how to sing in a boy band I mean wait what?!

I make so, so much sense. But seriously, senseiloid is directly/indirectly connected to three boy bands... he's magical. *shotdead*

Featured Vocaloid

Our Featured Vocaloid is Kiyoteru Hiyama, the ninth (or tenth) Japanese Vocaloid and AHSoftware's second (or third). He is not included in the Vocal Artist series for some reason. His character item seems to be iced (?) coffee. His more notable songs include True Education, his thingy with Ice Mountain, and that whole Vocaboyband thing with Kaito, Len, and Gakupo. More on that later. Actually, with the release of an alarming amount of information, he is the Vocaloid with the most official canon to date. He's stated to be an elementary school teacher, who mostly teaches math. On weekends he sings in a band called ICE MOUNTAIN, with a few non-Vocaloid characters. Let's see... 22 years old, sincere, a nice guy, easy going, cares about children, and apparently turns into a coolguy when he takes off his glasses! But he has to put them back on in a short amount of time to prevent eyestrain *reality ensues!*. He has a voice suited for the tenor range, and it's actually pretty unique as well. It has an odd electronic undertone to it, though, which is odd. 

Featured Producer

Our Featured Producer is Pantan-P, who is apparently multiple people (?). They are responsible for the VocaBoyBand consisting of Len Kagamine, Gakupo Kamui, Kaito, and our Featured Vocaloid, Kiyoteru Hiyama. If you ever need an excuse to fangirl, or just feel like escaping into a summer fantasy with... *trails off awkwardly and stares into the distance* hm~... 

Wh-what?! O-oh! Right. Ahem. S-sorry about that. Anyways! Some of Pantan-P's works include Have You All to Myself! Summer Girl, Again Again, The Summer I Can't See You, Flowers Bloom in the Night Sky Please Summer, and Your Highness My Princess. Apparently the boy band is referred to as Gensoh Airly? Ok.

Voca-bulary

Sensei- teacher, etc. and Kiyoteru is often referred to as such, or even senseiloid. 

What's on Spaz's iPod?

Remote Control by Wonderful Opportunity, sung by the Kagamine twins. L R L R STOP & DASH & UP & TALK B B A B S(tart)...

Classical Classic that is not Classical

Monochro Blue Sky is a cool Miku song that I cannot find the right subs for. I am sorry. 

Crowning Music of SUMMERTIME

Again Again. That is all. 

Crowning Music of FIREWORKS

Flower Bloom in the Night Sky Please Summer! 

The title says it all, really.

Crowning Music of Melancholy

The Summer I Can't See You ... cute. 

Spotlight Duet

Brother Complex, a cover of Remote Control and a sort of parody, with America and Canada (not really, just people singing like them, but you know). It's cute and funny. (IMMA HIIRO!) Even if you're not into Hetalia, you'll probably still enjoy it...! ^^

Spotlight Cover

Giga-P's remix of Karakuri Pierrot, sung by Luka, is awesome. Ah, mawatte...

Random Recommendation

Oliver's cover of Speed of Sound is quite good. 

Recent News

Of the incessant Kaito fangirl variety. Finally, he got another song in the Weekly Ranking, and finally, another brilliant yuukiss (wrote FLOWER TAIL) song! It's a demo, I believe, but it's still awesome. Apparently in 2009 she posted a thirty-nine second clip of it... and finally got around to working on it XD And the song's title is something along the lines of "I Will Never Forget" or something. SO yeah. 

End Note.

Have some pretty art. 

Episode Nine: SF-A524

I make sense. Oh yes. I make so much sense. Anyways, before I succumb to HetaOni and writings, have some blogstuffs!

Featured Vocaloid

Our Featured Vocaloid today is SF-A2 miki, or for sAnIty's sake we'll call her Miki. She's the eighth Japanese Vocaloid, and AH-Software's first. Well, technically she, Kiyoteru, and Yuki were all released at the same time, but she was announced first. Thus she is also the first in AH's "Vocal Artist" series. Her voice provider is Miki Furukawa. Her character items appears to be a cherry. Her notable songs are few and far between, but it seems her most recognizable songs are iNSaNiTY, Satellite, Lience, and DIVE INTO BLUE. It seems she's a tad bit under-appreciated. Her typical portrayal varies, but generally her oddly robotic design is taken into account, making her either a robot/android or an alien. Generally she seems to be a cheerful, curious girl, if a bit of a ditz. Or insane. You never know. It's a mystery~ anyways. Her voice is... it's got a cool sound to it, I suppose it's rather unique, if a tad nasal. She sounds best in the lower soprano range. 

Featured Producer

Our Featured Producer is Hachi, responsible for Matryoshka, Panda Hero, Wonderland and the Sheep's Song, and the like. His real name is Kenshi Yonezu and he's released an non-Vocaloid, self-singing album called diorama recently. His lyrics are... odd. He seems to be a kind of peculiar person in general. There are about a bajillion different ways to interpret his songs. He typically uses Miku for his songs... so much that in Panda Hero, where Gumi sings, he accidentally put "Miku" as the singer. Whoops. Anyways, most of his songs are definitely worth a listen.

Vocaloid Vocabulary

What else is there to explain? o.o; I really don't have a clue. Um... eh, how about this.

So this is kind of a weird fandom-in-general thing, but when a character-- or a certain version of a character-- is easily defined by a single word. Like... say for instance someone wrote a fanfic where for some bizarre, unexplainable reason, Kaito was a tsundere. This iteration of his character would then be referred to as Tsundere!Kaito. The "!" functions as a sort of... modifier? I can't grammar, I am sorry. But you see? Like, Hyper!Rin and Len, Drunk!Miku, BoyBand!Vocaloids, Human!Vocaloids, Android!Vocaloids, FormerlyHuman!Vocaloids. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

What's on Spaz's iPod?

iNSaNiTY, sung by Miki and Kaito in there too. It's by Circus-P, a rare well-known American producer.

A Classic of All Classics to Rendezvous?

Matryoshka, sung by Miku and Gumi, and by our Featured Producer, Hachi. 524, Freud? Keloid? Just play the tune...

Crowning Music of Awesome

Astral Domination, sung by Rin and Len, by Yamaji. It's apparently about aliens. Great song to rock out too. 

Crowning Music of Conspiracy...?

Super Hero sung by Len and by the producer Nem-- also, it appears the PV is also by the same person who did Ah, It's a Wonderful Cat's Life. The first verse/chorus will have you going "I'm a super hero!" along with 'em, but then near the end, you have to wonder, like a commenter-- So, is Len really like America of Hetalia, or Light of Death Note? stop making weird anime references spaz 

Crowning Music of Tsundere

TRI△NGLE LO▽E sung by our Featured Vocaloid, the producer as... Sugiharu and Enicy? Ok then. 

Spotlight Duet  Group Song

First Love Academy:School of True Love again by Nem. Len, Rin, and Gumi sing this... evidently Gumi's a guy in this song. No, really. It certainly seems so, at least. Anyways.

Spotlight Cover

Miki's cover of Black★Rock Shooter is pretty good... ignore the language in the description >.<

Random Recommendation

DIVE INTO BLUE by our Featured Vocaloid and ItachimaP. Now everyone knows the word for "blue" in Japanese is "Ao", right? Right. Alllright.

Recent News

Gakupo's Extend was released a few days ago, with a "Native", "Whisper", and "Power" voicebank.

End Note

*falls over*

Episode Eight Point Eight Eight: Once Upon A Time, There Was A Dream...

That dream was such a small dream... Eh? Oh, right. Yeah.

This is kind of a cool little thing, but evidently there's a sort of fanmade game/visual novel-type thing of Alice Human Sacrifice/Hitobashira Alice. It's pretty cool, actually.

Here's the link to the person who's posted all the videos-- however, they're untranslated. I actually haven't watched all of them at this time of posting...

Here's the first video in the series, it's translated by this person-- you can find the others by yourself, can't you? It's translated up to the beginning of Kaito's story bit, so it's far from complete... uh, I guess they stopped translating it because that's from 2011... oh well...

Well, that's all for now~!

Episode Eight Point Five: ALL THE PRONOUNS ALL OF THEM

Mmkay so apparently last episode was number hachi and and one before that was seven. So, sorry about that, blame sleep deprivation etc etc etc.

Now!

So even though-- or perhaps, because of the fact-- Japanese is a language that has the opportunity to omit pronouns, there are a whole metric crapton of them. And they all mean different things, the nuances etc. so it's very different if someone uses one pronoun over another/etc. Note that I'm not covering all of them, just the more important ones you see often. Heavily inspired/etc from TV Tropes' article on Japanese Pronouns.

Pronouns for "I"

Watashi- the standard word used for "I". In more formal situations, both males and females can use it. It's also alright for girls to use it in more informal contexts, but if a guy does he'll come off as aloof, serious business, or even effeminate. Young girls can use it, but never young boys.

Atashi- informal and quite feminine version of "watashi". Generally used by girls in a casual situation. Not used by guys unless it's funny or just plain creepy. 

Jibun- Most of the time it's like a reflexive pronoun, "myself". In rare moments it will be used as a very detached "I".

Boku- Usually used by guys in a casual, informal context, not trying to come off as aggressive or rude. It's also used by young boys. If this is used when a more assertive pronoun is accepted, like "ore", the guy can appear childish. In anime, girls using "boku" are tomboyish, but it would be quite peculiar if a girl used "boku" in real life. It's also fine in music for, you know, lyrical flow and stuff. Cosmo, for example, has Miku use "boku", but I think that's just because it sounds a bit like "Voc" as in "Vocaloid" so...

Ore- This is a more aggressive male pronoun for a casual situation, usually by young men from like... teenager to middle age? Or something. Note that in the Rin and Len's original "Revolution" and Meiko and Kaito's cover of it, Len and Kaito use "ore" to affirm their masculinity. No, seriously. They do. 

Ore-sama- ... ok so this is pretty much one of the most assertive, overconfident pronouns ever for "I". If this is used either the user is incredibly smug and full of themselves or they're using it in a tongue-in-cheek manner. So it's fitting that the hot-blooded, crazy-awesome Prussia (from Hetalia) refers to himself as "the awesome me". 

Pronouns for "You"

So in real-life, usually the speaker will just use whoever's name. However, since in music it's unusual to have them named...

Anata- this is standard "you". However it can also translate to "dear" or something if a wife uses it with her husband/ any kind of that relationship. 

Anta- this is a familiar/condescending form of the above

Kimi- somewhat informal, however it's still kind of polite. Men use it when addressing people on the same social level they are, also younger men and women use this too. It's also a usual pronoun with couples. So, it turns up a lot in music. The kanji can also be pronounced "kun" so apparently that's also the honorific. 

Omae- Generally used by guys when they're talking to their kohai (underclassmen), close friends, or children. This has an air of self-confidence and it's pretty informal. Girls can use it too but that doesn't really happen that much. It's also used between couples as "dear".

Onore- A really insulting way of saying "you". Like, Hero defeats Villain, Villain yells "Onore!" while blasting off again... 

Temē- A really really insulting way of saying "you". This is pretty restricted to "rough-talking" kind of guys. Pretty much translates to "You (expletive)!"

SUDDENLY--

Episode Seven: Gumi, One More Time, One More Time!

For no real reason I'm a bit dead. Just. Dead. Can't write. Can't.
... Maybe I should work on...
I don't know.
Anyways.
Sorry if I sound... drained I guess...?

Featured Vocaloid

Our Featured Vocaloid is Megpoid, whose character name is Gumi. She is Internet Co., Ltd.'s second Vocaloid and seventh Japanese Vocaloid in all. Her voice provider is Megumi Nakajima, who is more well-known to be the voice actor for the character Ranka Lee in the anime Macross Frontier. Because of this, Gumi's design is heavily based off of Ranka's. I mean, just look at this picture.  Her carroter... ehm... Character Item is a carrot. Please refer to picture to see why. ... Yeah. Her most notable songs are Our 16bit Warz, For Campanella, Coward Montblanc, Mozaik Role, Ten-Faced... actually, she's got a lot of notable songs. She's given Miku a run for her money in the rankings too. Her typical portrayal is of a excitable, energetic, plucky girl-- which is a bit surprising, seeing as a lot of her songs deal with failed romance, unrequited love, et cetera. Her voice has a pleasant, breathy rasp to it which adds to its almost realistic quality. She's also noted by some producers to be the easiest Japanese Vocaloid to tune in terms of English pronunciation. 

Featured Producer

Our Featured Producer is Genjitsotouhi-P, more commonly referred to as wowaka. He's known for his fast-paced songs which-- if you read some of the Youtube comments-- apparently are the story of everyone's lives. So there's that. He often uses Miku and just as often provides no PV at the first release of the song. Seriously. There's this one song that sounded like wowaka's but people could tell it wasn't because it had a legit, in-full-color PV. His most well-known songs are World's End Dancehall, Rollin' Girl, and Unhappy Refrain. Anyways, yes, his album "Unhappy Refrain" can be found on iTunes. You're welcome.

Voca-bulary

So! "Seiyuu" is the term for "voice actor" in Japanese. You may also hear it in reference to the voice provider of a Vocaloid. You may also hear the voice provider being referred to as the Vocaloid in question's "daddy" ... Actually, this is only in the case of Naoto Fuuga and Kaito. I've never heard it applied to any other seiyuu and Vocaloid... 

What's on Spaz's iPod?

Rollin' Girl. Sung by Miku and by wowaka. It was my first Vocaloid song and I'm really attached to this song. It's also kind of a punch in the feels with the PV. Moi ikkai, mou ikkai...

Classic Classic of Classicness

World's End Dancehall, a duet by Luka and Miku-- again by wowaka. Now, shall we dance with a hop step?

Crowning Music of Awesome

Unhappy Refrain. Miku. Wowaka. Awesome. References to other wowaka songs. Awesome. 

Crowning Music of Sad

Time Forgotten One-- by hinayukki/Shigotoshite-P, sung by Kaito. It's so pretty and sad... and then you realize the spoiler... *sniff*

Crowning PV of Why in the world and What in the world

This PV for a song called "The Near Future City" ... actually, maybe that's the album/EP name and it's four songs mashed together? I'm not sure, but the PV is awesome and a punch in the feels, especially if you're a Gakupo or Kaito fan. (why is he all alone in space? *sob*) 

Spotlight Cover and Spotlight Duet TIMES TWO COMBO!

You may now listen to Rin and Len:

1. Completely own Unhappy Refrain

2. Completely pwn World's End Dancehall

And now, you may listen to Kaito

1. Be awesome singing World's End Dancehall (yes, that's Kaito)

2. Be awesome singing Rolling Girl and it's rap version at the same time. 

Awesome. Completely, utterly awesome.

Random Recommendation

Sadly unsubbed, DualSoul is a well-done Meiko and Gumi duet. 

End Note

A WILD KAITO GIF APPEARED!

YYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Episode Six Point Five: Mini-Series!

So as we all know there are some song series out there. Like, you know, mothy's Evillous Chronicles, sasakure.UK's Do Vocaloids Dream of Doomsday Bird, and Jin's Kagerou Project. Well, this article will not be about those series. (though, the next bit of the Kagerou Project came out recently called "Kisaragi Attention" or something).

This article will be about those smaller mini-series, only lasting around three to two songs in length. The Kagamines show up frequently under this category. Also some of the PVs are annoying in i.e. the typical issue that artists have drawing Meiko for some reason, and some other such stuff. BUT ANYWAYS. Let's get to it, then!

Recycle Bin and Salvage- Rin and Len

By Shibashon P. 

Recycle Bin

Salvage- answer song to Recycle Bin

Really, they're almost Exactly What It Says On The Tin. Though, I think Kaito and Meiko could've done at least a good cover of this, especially because of the story of Kaito's release, etc... hm. Oh well. 

Prisoner and Paper Plane- Rin and Len Tragedy

By Shujin P, not to be confused with ShinjouP.

Prisoner

Paper Plane- answer song to Prisoner

I-I actually couldn't rewatch these... if I did I would melt into a sobbing wreck like the first time. OTL

Utopia, Faint Wish, New Millenium- Rin and Len again

By Shujin P once again. 

Utopia

A Faint Wish

The New Millenium

Not particularly a "tragedy" in the end, though Utopia and Faint Wish are a bit grim. When they're not being hilariously overdramatic. I mean really. Like Len trying to sound like Kaito in Utopia... XD I died. I. Died. 

Also the PVs for this are kind of annoying and a tad awkward so yeah. The 3D bits... XD Len's scream... 

The Riddler Series- Len and Rin

The Riddler Who Can't Solve Riddles

The Riddler Who Won't Solve Riddles

Ok so the awesomeness of this mini-series outweighs the... issues I have with the other one above. I mean really, the PVs are cool and the storyline is delightfully confusing. Who is the culprit, anyways?!

First Virus Resistance- Rin flying solo

I can't believe I forgot this. 

It's by Wonderful Opportunity

Assault Chapter

Drifting Chapter

Restart Chapter

So it's kinda like Disappearance of Hatsune Miku except Rin's like "lolnope" and goes epic action hero on the virus. Seriously, this is full of rocking win.

Synchronicity- Len and Rin once again but it's so EPIC

By HitoshuzukuP

Looking For You in the Sky

Paradise of Light and Shadow

(epic cliffhanger, there's going to be a 3rd song eventually)

Ok this is just EPIC. With everyone and the whole scenario... agh. I love this series so much. Paradise of Light and Shadow has this thing where informative pictures sometimes go by real fast so you'll definitely have to watch that a couple times over. Or a couple thousand... Did I mention I like this series? 

Have some lovely concept art, just scroll down a tad on the article.

Oh, and a partial translation of the webnovel thing. 

Color Chronicle- Kaito and Meiko (!) (Finally someone different!)

Guardian Blue

Red Reflection 

Color Chronicle

... agh, the latter half of Red Reflection makes me tear up every time... Yeah it's really KaiMei and awesome.

Ok so my issues with this series only go as far as the typical PV-artist-drawing-Meiko issue.

And the fact that I can't find english subs for Color Chronicle... oh well.

But, ok, Guardian Blue isn't too terribly compelling. But then Red Reflections like waBAM right in the feels and it's like suddenly Meiko leveled up or something and then it's saddd. *cry*

And Color Chronicle... I swear I saw subs for it a month ago or so... ah well. It gives me warm fuzzies and they so deserve that happy ending. 

ARPK- Luka, Miku

by baker

ARPK

Leave in the Summer, Yet You're in my Fluffoughts

Alpacas, guys. Alpacas are cute.

"Strobe" Series- Miku

by PowaPowa-P

Goodbye, Mr. Remember

Hello Strobe

Strobe Light - I love that PV...

Strobe Last

Really, I would classify it as a full-fledged series except that they're all basically the same song remixed and changed a bit. Always reminds me of Minecraft for some reason... 

SUDDENLY ALICE IN MUSICLAND

ok not a series or miniseries but it's cute, ok?

... and now Spaz shall go off and WRITE.

Episode Six: Purple Eggplant Man Runs for 40m

what. what. what. that didn't even make sense...
sorry this is so lateeeee *falls over*
i apologize in advance for this episode's sleepiness and general cruddiness orz

Featured Vocaloid

So this edition's Featured Vocaloid is Gackpoid, whose actual character name is Gakupo Kamui. As you may guess from his name, he is voiced by the popular singer Gackt. He is the first Vocaloid distributed by Internet Co., Ltd. His character item is an eggplant. His more well-known songs include Dancing Samurai, The Madness of Duke Venomania, and that whole VanaN'Ice thing with Len and Kaito. Also apparently cosmo/BousouP has something going on with him as Dr. Realist. It's been rumored that he will sometime in the future receive an Extend version. Also there was this whole contest thing where... I'm not exactly sure, but it ended up with Gackt cosplaying as Gakupo and covering Gakupo's "Episode 0". Something like that. Sorry, I don't really know that much about him. He's either portrayed as a serious business samurai or as a samurai-wannabe who's a bit goofy. And maybe a tad flirtatious. He's got a deeper voice like Kaito's. If not done well it has this too-heavy feel to it, but according to my resources he can actually have a nice, rich voice when he is tuned well. 

Featured Producer

40mP~ he's a lyrics-orientated producer. He tends to have emotional songs that sometimes hit pretty dang close to home. A few years ago he got married to Nico singer Chano and last year they had a kid. Which is adorable, by the way. His well-known works include Left-Behind City, Karakuri Pierrot, and Eye Examination. 

Vocaloid Vocabulary

As Hetalia fans may tell you, "Hetare" means clumsy, useless, awkward, et cetera in Japanese. It on occasion can be used in portmanteau, like "Hetalia" to parody... useless Italia. Yeah. So if you see something like "Bakaito and Heta-len" you'll now know it's "Stupid Kaito and Useless Len".

... yeah. (Hetaspaz? Bakaspaz?)

What's on Spaz's iPod?

Delusion Sketch by our Featured Producer and sung by Miku. 

The Classics

The World is Mine by supercell, I think, and sung by the numberone diva in the whole wide world Miku.

Crowning Music of Awesome

Jewel, by Shinjou-P and sung by Kaito. It's awesome and perhaps a touch yandere. Oh, and since I can't find a subbed version of that PV, have some eng translation!

Crowning Music of Sad

Not so much sad as depression->melancholy->hope, but here's Deep-Sea Girl by Yuuyu and sung by Miku. 

Crowning Music of Freaking Adorable Cuteness

Do-Re-Mi-Fa Rondo by our Featured Producer and sung by Miku. It's so. Cute. And yes, those are references to other songs in there! 

Spotlight Cover and Duet

Remember Ah, It's a Wonderful Cat's Life from last edition? No? Well go watch the real version and then now you may see 96neko-- aka the personification of crazy Len fangirls-- and Len duet in a... different... version of it. 

Random Recommendation

Circus Monster is surprisingly, an english song sung by Luka.

End Note 

SUDDENLY KAITO GIF

i am really surprised at how well that worked.